Note:  Laurie Pettine and Susan Waldman, both members of Morris County NOW, are quoted below.

Both sides criticize

gay marriage ruling

By PHIL GARBER Managing Editor, Mt. Olive Chronicle, 11/01/2006

Even long before he became the first openly gay member of the New York Stock Exchange, Walter Schubert has been passionately battling for the rights of homosexuals.

Heather Turnbull has been in a committed lesbian relationship for 15 years and she’s never understood why anyone would b e concerned over her lifestyle.

On the other side of the white hot topic of gay marriage are Assembly members Richard Merkt, R-Morris, and Guy Gregg, R-Morris.  To the two legislators, the issue involves a dangerously activist court and could signal a further eroding of long-imbedded cultural and religious values.

To Schubert, it is a literal matter of life and death that gay and lesbian people can be married like heterosexuals.  For Turnbull, how she lives has no bearing on anyone else’s relationship.

Schubert, Turnbull, Merkt and Gregg were among many who were concerned for different reasons with last week’s state Supreme Court ruling that said gay couples deserve the same legal and economic rights as straight, married people.  Those rights range from family leaves for ill partners to tax deductions for medical expenses of partners to tax benefits in real estate bequests.

The court on Wednesday, Oct. 25, stopped short of sanctioning gay and lesbian “marriage” and ordered the Legislature to craft legislation within three months to reflect the court ruling.

Quality Of Life

Schubert, who lives in Mendham, is the founder and treasurer of the Morris County chapter of a group known as PFLAG, short for Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays.  The group meets at 7:30 p.m., the second Monday of each month at the Brookside Community Church.

“At first blush, the reaction (to the court ruling) was great, that they’ve given us equal rights,” Schubert said.  “But it’s a shallow victory in the sense that the court balked because they didn’t use the word marriage and that is the essence of the issue.”

Schubert has been openly gay since 1994 and said he was the first admittedly gay member of the New York Stock Exchange.  He said he is single but was in a relationship for six years that might have resulted in marriage if the law had permitted.

“This is a life and death issue about the quality of life,” Schubert said.  “It is one of the most serious issues we face today.”

Schubert said it is condescending to label a committed relationship between same sex people as anything less than marriage.

“It’s difficult to tell a gay couple who has lived together for 25 years that their relationship isn’t as vital as that of a heterosexual couple,” Schubert said.

The genesis of the objections to gay marriage swirl around homophobia and an anti-feminist philosophy, he said.

“(That philosophy) says a man who loves another man is less than a man; he’s a woman,” said Schubert.

He said young gay people are often the most tragic victims of homophobia and legislative or judicial actions like the failure to recognize gay relationships as marriages.  Its effects are seen in a significantly higher suicide rate and substance abuse rate among young homosexuals.

“When we label a relationship as not equal to marriage, kids translate this into feeling they won’t be happy with their partner,” he said.  “To teens, the words say you’re not welcome and there is something wrong with you.”

Turnbull of Chatham was pleased with the ruling and she said that in time, the argument will end over use of the word “marriage” for same sex relationships.

“Overall, it is a very positive step in the right direction,” said Turnbull.  “Generations form now, people will wonder how we worked ourselves up over semantics.”

“As a gay person in a long timer, committed relationship, I will now have much more rights and security,” she said.

Last month, Maureen Bonner and Joyce Morrissey celebrated their 12th anniversary together and state approval or not, they plan on enjoying many more years of marriage.

Morrissey and Bonner are members of the Skylands Unitarian Fellowship in Hackettstown, one of the few religions that supports gay marriage.

“It’s time they drop the distinctions,” said Morrissey.  “It’s unreal in this day and age to have such distinctions.”

Morrissey said she and Bonner were “shocked” at what they learned when they met recently with a lawyer experienced in homosexual issues.  Among the revelations, the Liberty Township couple learned was that if one of them died, the estate would not automatically revert to the surviving partner, in the way it does with heterosexual marriages. They also learned that a surviving partner would have to pay inheritance taxes for bequests, something that married straight couples don’t.

“I’ve always called Maureen my partner or my lover,” said Morrissey.  “Calling it a marriage is only important in context of these other issues.  It doesn’t effect our relationship.”

Bonner said she has never understood why other people would be concerned about her personal choices in relationships.  She also said heterosexuals should get their own acts in order before criticizing gay couples.

“I have friends who have been together for 31 years, for 25 years and there are a lot of straight couples who break up a lot sooner,” she said.

Straight Support

Laurie Pettine of Mendham Township is chair of the Mothers and Caregivers Economic Rights Task Force for the Morris County chapter of the National Organization for Women (NOW).  Speaking as a straight woman, Pettine said the issue of homosexual rights is a basic civil right and that legal acceptance of gay marriage is critical

“History will show that we need to all stand together,” Pettine said.  “The word marriage is emotional and spiritual and it has everything to do with identity.”

Pettine and her husband, Tony, have been married for 12 years and have two children.  She said homosexual couples are no different.

“I know many gay couples who are me and Tony,” said Pettine.  “The love is the same, the family is the same.”

Susan Waldman of Randolph Township, a former NOW chapter president, said she was “ecstatic” about the court ruling.

She said the ruling clarifies civil rights protections under the state constitution and that religious opposition should not be part of the discussion about marriage rights.

“No religion has the right to determine was constitutes equal protection,” Waldman said.

Sue Harris, vice president of the Gay Activist Alliance of Morris County, said the justices still didn’t resolve the issue of gay and lesbian marriage.  She said she expects further legal challenges.

“Hopefully, the Legislature will be as fair minded (as the court) and will say that gay people can enjoy the same civil rights as married people,” said Harris, 47, of Dover.  “It is a civil right and has nothing to do with religion.  If it looks like a duck and talks like a duck, why not just call it a duck?”

Harris said the next major hurdle will be for the Legislature to vote on legislation to grant equal protections to transgendered people.

Homosexual Opponent

Kevin Hoffman is a 17-year-old Chester youth who is strongly against homosexual marriage.  He is the son of the Rev. Scott Hoffman, who is the pastor of the First Congregational Church of Chester.

Hoffman said people have a choice of being homosexual and that it should not get approval from the state.

“It’s not something indelibly etched into your genetic code,” Hoffman said.  “I believe homosexuality is wrong and I don’t think it is something that should be morally or legally supported by the state.

“I don’t think sexual orientation should be protected,” Hoffman said.  “If they want to bring that up, they should get a constitutional amendment.  I don’t feel it is on the same level as gender and race.”

The Rev. Paul Ingeneri of Crossroads Community Church in Flanders, said marriage between same sexes “is a bad thing.”

“It really hurts heterosexual marriages,” he said.  “People should love homosexuals and lesbians the same as others who were made in the image of God. But I still say they are wrong.”

The New Jersey ruling has rippled across the nation, adding energy to debates over same sex marriage in many Congressional races.  President George W. Bush raised the New Jersey ruling while campaigning last week in the Midwest and said the “activist” court overreached its authority.

Merkt, who lives in Randolph Township and represents the 25th District, agreed and wants to impeach the members of the state Supreme Court for violating the separation between the two branches of government and dictating to the Legislature.

Merkt said the court has no right to dictate morality and that the only way to affirm homosexual marriage would be through a constitutional amendment.

“We’re tinkering with the law to satisfy the demands of a vocal minority,” said Gregg of Washington Township and representative of the 24th District.  “The homosexual community is trying to force its definitions on the remainder of society.  Marriage is a millennia old cultural and religious tradition and I still understand marriage in the traditional sense between a man and woman.”

Gregg didn’t mince words when he called the Supreme Court “the worst Supreme Court in America.  There couldn’t be seven more incompetent people found on any state court.”

While he strongly disagreed with the court decision, Gregg said it will trigger important discussions on issues that will prove very difficult to resolve.  Among those issues will be whether to grant equal economic protections to children who grow up with elderly grandparents or siblings who live together for many years.

“We have far more children being raised by grandparents than by lesbians,” said Gregg.  “They should all be addressed and we shouldn’t just focus on one group.”

Assemblywoman Alison Littell McHose, R-Morris, also represents the 24th District and is a co-prime sponsor of ACR-134, a proposed constitutional amendment which defines marriage as being solely between a man and a woman.  She said in a statement that she will continue to oppose any legislation that allows same-sex couples to marry.”