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May 7, 2009
Protect the abused
The National Organization for Women of New Jersey thanks you for
your coverage of the protest at the Essex County Family Court
("Protesters see bias in child custody," April 28).
I attended the rally with several mothers whose children were
placed in the custody of their alleged abusers or into the child
welfare system by the courts. These women were afraid to
speak out at the rally because of fear of retaliation by the
judges who are blind to the abuse, or too willing to punish the
mother for speaking up about it.
NOW-NJ takes exception to the flippant and calloused remarks of
Judge Patricia Costello, who refers to termination of parental
rights without any sense of compassion, without realizing how
often women in this state have their parental rights terminated
not because they are bad mothers, but because they or their
children were victims of abuse by the father.
Her comment that "When the parents can't decide who raises the
children, the judge makes the call" also shows her
insensitivity. For the most part, contested custody cases
aren't cases in which parents can't decide who should be the
parent. These are cases in which there is abuse and where
the mother is looking to the court for protection.
As Costello's comments demonstrated, family court judges are
given too much discretion and their decisions are often
influenced by their own personal biases and ignorance.
That is why expert opinion is critical.
For these reasons, termination of parental rights must be
reserved for the most heinous of crimes and must be enforced
only if the children are in danger. A mother should not be
punished for being a victim of abuse or for trying to protect
her children.
Mothers who are abused or who have reason to believe their
children are abused and who fight to protect them should be
afforded protection under the family courts.
Right now, mothers face potential loss of custody if they speak
out against the men they believe are abusing their children, or
if they speak out against the judges who don't believe them.
Costello's remarks send the wrong message.
Maretta J. Short, president, NOW-NJ
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